It Should be No Choice to be Raised as an Adult

Mrs Neu was big on teaching right from wrong and saw this as inherent in being put on track to becoming an adult. While this was the job of a parent to teach in her view, unfortunately, not every parent models good adult behavior. This was the subject of the following note she left behind entitled "No Choice."

Knowing right from wrong makes you not this

If becoming a grown up were a choice, I would be very busy right now, sending notes to a lot of people I know saying “It’s Time!! Choose now!

Unfortunately, becoming an adult is a long involved process; not a quick fix.

      Some fifty years ago, my favorite child psychologist wrote that babies are born basically animals and it is the training of parents, church, community, that turns them into civilized human beings.  If the training isn’t done, we wind up with full grown human animals. It is scary to me that I see so many of these self centered people who have no self control.

      One of the biggest factors in making people civilized is the development of the conscience. Having a sense of what is right  and feeling remorse and guilt when doing wrong should be intrinsic to being adult.   

Having values, respect, and concern for others, isn’t a developmental thing,    but rather is brought about by the approval or disapproval of the parent. If the parent doesn’t scold or correct, if the parent never punishes or objects, a child has no guidelines.  Lucky for me, my parents were very quick to help me know what was what! 

      Being grown up is so intrinsic to who I am, I can’t seperate out an event  that shows me being adult--I just AM.